Should You Help Your Adult Kids Buy Into Your Home?

Suites, Joint Purchases & Co-Living in Today’s Market

If you’ve found yourself thinking, “How on earth are our kids ever going to buy a home?”—you’re not alone.

Across the Lower Mainland, more families are quietly re-thinking what “homeownership” looks like. With rising prices, high interest rates, and a tight rental market, one question keeps coming up in my conversations with parents:

Should we help our adult kids by buying together, adding a suite, or living under one roof?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer—but there are smart ways to approach it, and a few serious pitfalls to avoid.

Let’s break it down.

Why This Conversation Is Happening Now

This isn’t about indulgence or entitlement—it’s about math.

Many adult children:

• Earn solid incomes but still can’t qualify alone

• Are stuck in expensive rentals with no path to saving

• Want stability but not a 40-year mortgage with roommates

Meanwhile, many parents:

• Are sitting on significant home equity

• Have larger homes than they need

• Are thinking about downsizing eventually—just not yet

That overlap is driving a surge in intergenerational housing solutions.

Option 1: Adding a Suite to Your Existing Home

Best for: Parents who want independence and a safety net for their kids.

How it works

• Parents remain owners

• Adult child lives in a legal or authorized suite

• Rent may be market-based, reduced, or replaced with cost-sharing

Pros

✔ Keeps ownership clean and simple
✔ Creates flexibility (family now, rental income later)
✔ Helps adult kids build savings
✔ Increases resale value in many North Shore neighborhoods

Watch out for

⚠ Zoning and permitting requirements
⚠ Construction costs (often higher than expected)
⚠ Lifestyle boundaries—shared driveways, noise, guests

Pro tip: Even with family, treat this like a business arrangement. Clear expectations save relationships.

Option 2: Joint Purchase (Buying Together)

Best for: Families who are aligned financially and emotionally.

How it works

• Parents and adult children purchase a home together

• Ownership is shared (often as tenants in common)

• Equity and responsibilities are clearly defined upfront

Pros

✔ Makes larger or better-located homes possible
✔ Reduces borrowing pressure on kids
✔ Allows parents to “age in place” with support
✔ Can be more tax-efficient than gifting cash

Watch out for

⚠ Exit strategies (what happens if someone wants out?)
⚠ Relationship changes (marriage, divorce, job relocation)
⚠ Estate planning complexity

Non-negotiable: Legal advice before you buy. Not after.

Option 3: Purpose-Built Co-Living or Multi-Generational Homes

Best for: Families planning long-term, not temporary solutions.

How it works

• Purchase a home designed for separation and privacy

• Separate entrances, kitchens, living spaces

• Often includes future downsizing flexibility

Pros

✔ Built-in independence
✔ Shared costs without shared lifestyles
✔ Supports caregiving as parents age
✔ Increasingly attractive for resale

Watch out for

⚠ Limited inventory
⚠ Higher upfront price
⚠ Requires honest conversations about boundaries

This option works best when it’s intentional, not reactive.

The Emotional Side (The Part No One Likes to Talk About)

This decision isn’t just financial—it’s deeply emotional.

Parents often worry:

• Am I enabling or empowering?

• Will this delay their independence?

• What if this strains our relationship?

Adult kids often worry:

• Will I ever truly own something myself?

• Am I failing because I need help?

• Will I feel like a tenant forever?

The families who succeed are the ones who:

• Talk openly about expectations

• Put agreements in writing

• Revisit the plan every few years

Housing should support relationships—not test them.

Questions to Ask Before You Say Yes

Before moving forward, I encourage families to answer these honestly:

1. Is this a short-term bridge or a long-term plan?

2. What happens if someone wants to sell, move, or needs cash?

3. How will expenses, maintenance, and decisions be handled?

4. Have we spoken to a lawyer and a financial advisor?

5. Are we doing this out of fear—or strategy?

If the answers feel fuzzy, slow down. That’s a sign you need more clarity, not more urgency.

This Can Be Smart—If Done Right

Helping adult kids buy into a home is no longer unusual—it’s becoming a strategic housing solution in high-cost markets like ours.

When done thoughtfully, it can:

• Preserve family wealth

• Reduce stress across generations

• Create flexibility for future downsizing

When done emotionally or without planning, it can:

• Complicate estates

• Strain relationships

• Limit future choices

If this conversation is coming up in your family, it’s worth approaching it with guidance—not assumptions.

Looking for Detached Homes With Suites?

If part of your plan involves buying a detached home with an existing suite—or the potential to add one—finding the right property matters more than ever.

Not all suites are created equal.

Some are:

• Fully legal and mortgage-friendly

• Older “in-law” suites that need updates

• Great layouts on paper but challenging for real-life privacy

• Zoned correctly now but limited for future flexibility

This is where experience really counts.

👉 [View current detached homes with suites here]
(North Shore listings curated with multi-generational living in mind)

How I Can Help Your Family Navigate This

As a Realtor who works extensively with:

• Downsizers

• Multi-generational families

• Parents helping adult children enter the market

…I help families think beyond the purchase.

That includes:

• Evaluating suite legality, zoning, and resale impact

• Identifying homes that support future downsizing or exit strategies

• Connecting you with trusted legal, mortgage, and renovation professionals

• Helping everyone get on the same page before emotions run the show

This isn’t just about buying a house—it’s about setting your family up for flexibility, harmony, and long-term success.

If you’re exploring options or just starting the conversation, I’m always happy to be a sounding board.

👉 Explore detached homes with suites or book a consultation here

Final Thought

Helping adult children buy into a home can be a smart, strategic move—but only when it’s approached with clarity, structure, and the right support.

The goal isn’t just affordability.
It’s freedom, stability, and options—for everyone involved.

Shelley Hird
North Shore Realtor® and Downsizing Specialist
www.shelleyhird.com