The Financial and Emotional Cost of Staying Put

There is something incredibly comforting about staying put.

You know your neighbours. You know the house. You know which floorboard squeaks and exactly where the afternoon sun comes through the kitchen window.

Maybe you've raised your children there. Maybe you've celebrated 30 Christmases in that same dining room. Maybe your home has been the one constant through some of the biggest chapters of your life.

And if you've owned a home on the North Shore for a long time, there's another very good reason to stay:

Your home may be worth a lot more than you ever imagined it would be.

For many homeowners, the family home has been an extraordinary investment.

So when someone suggests selling it and moving somewhere smaller, the obvious question is:

"Why would I do that?"

It's a fair question.

And I'm not here to tell you that you should.

But I do think there's another question worth asking:

What is it actually costing you to stay?

Not just financially.

But in time, energy, maintenance, flexibility and opportunity.

And when you look at the next 10 or 20 years rather than the last 20, the answer can be surprisingly different.

Your Home Can Be Your Greatest Asset... and Still Cost Money to Own

Let's take a hypothetical example that is fairly close to the price point many North Vancouver homeowners are familiar with.

Imagine you own a detached home worth $2.2 million.

You've lived there for many years. Your mortgage is paid off. You've built substantial equity.

On paper, you have a very valuable asset.

But the house doesn't just sit there appreciating.

It needs things.

The roof eventually needs replacing. The furnace doesn't last forever. Windows age. Decks need attention.

The driveway needs work. The garden grows whether you're in the mood to garden or not.

And then there are the less obvious costs:

Property taxes.

Insurance.

Utilities.

Landscaping.

Cleaning.

And the occasional plumber or electrician who seems to charge $200 simply for the call out fee.

The point is that owning a home has a carrying cost, even when there is no mortgage.

What Might 20 Years of Homeownership Actually Look Like?

This is where I want to be very clear.

The numbers below are an illustration, not a prediction.

I'm not suggesting that a North Vancouver homeowner will spend exactly this amount every year. Some years will be much less. Some years will be considerably more.

The purpose is simply to take a longer view.

For our $2.2 million detached home, let's assume approximately $40,000 per year in total property-related expenses:

A note about the renovation reserve

This is perhaps the most important number to explain.

The $10,000 annual renovation reserve isn't money you necessarily spend every year.

Instead, think of it as setting aside an average amount each year for the bigger projects that eventually come along.

Maybe the kitchen needs updating. The bathrooms need renovating. The roof needs replacing.

The windows are reaching the end of their useful life. The deck needs rebuilding.

Or perhaps you simply want to make improvements to keep the home comfortable and competitive over the years.

You might spend almost nothing one year and $50,000 the next.

The idea of the reserve is simply to spread those larger, less frequent expenses across a longer period of time.

So, in this illustration, $40,000 × 20 years = $800,000.

That's a significant number.

But it's also important to remember what it represents:

20 years of living in and enjoying a $2.2 million home.

It's not money "lost."

It's the cost of owning, maintaining and enjoying the home.

And that's an important distinction.

What If You Chose a Smaller Home?

Now let's look at another illustration.

Imagine the homeowner sells the $2.2 million detached home and purchases a $1.2 million condo or townhouse.

That leaves approximately $1 million of gross equity to invest, before selling costs, legal fees, moving expenses, taxes and other transaction costs.

Again, this isn't a recommendation.

It's simply another possible scenario.

The annual property-related costs might look something like this:

Again, these are simply reasonable assumptions for the purpose of comparison.

Strata fees can vary significantly between buildings, and they can increase over time. Condo owners can also face special assessments and other expenses that aren't captured in this simplified example.

But under these assumptions, the difference is interesting:

Detached home:

$800,000 over 20 years

Smaller property:

$400,000 over 20 years

That's a difference of approximately:

$400,000 over 20 years

Or about $20,000 per year on average.

Would every homeowner experience this difference?

Absolutely not.

That's not the point.

The point is to ask:

What does the cost of maintaining my particular home look like over the next 20 years?

And Then There's the $1 Million Question

Let's say the homeowner has $1 million left over after purchasing the smaller property.

What if they invested it?

Again, this is an illustration, not a prediction or investment recommendation.

If that $1 million earned an average annual return of:

4%

After 20 years:

Approximately $2.19 million

5%

After 20 years:

Approximately $2.65 million

6%

After 20 years:

Approximately $3.21 million

That's the power of compound growth.

But it's also important to remember that investments fluctuate. Returns aren't guaranteed, and taxes, fees and the type of investment would all affect the actual outcome.

The point isn't that the homeowner will have $2.65 million in 20 years.

It's that $1 million of equity has options when it isn't tied up in a house.

And that's an interesting thing to think about.

But What About the House Going Up in Value?

This is where the conversation gets really interesting.

If you've owned a North Vancouver home for 20 or 30 years, you've probably experienced significant appreciation.

And perhaps your first instinct is:

"But my house will continue to go up."

It might.

Historically, real estate has been an important source of wealth creation for many Canadian homeowners.

But will the next 20 years look like the last 20?

Honestly, I don't know.

And neither does anyone else.

We can make projections, but nobody can tell us with certainty what a North Vancouver detached home will be worth in 2046.

So let's look at three simple illustrations.

If the $2.2 million home appreciated at an average of:

2% per year

After 20 years:

Approximately $3.27 million

3% per year

After 20 years:

Approximately $3.97 million

4% per year

After 20 years:

Approximately $4.82 million

That's a pretty wide range.

And it illustrates why I think it's dangerous to assume that the future will simply repeat the past.

We're Entering a Very Different Demographic Era

There's another reason I think this conversation is worth having.

Canada is getting older.

Statistics Canada estimates that people aged 65 and older represented 19.5% of Canada's population in 2025.

Depending on the projection scenario, that share could rise to between 22.6% and 32.5% by 2075.

The population aged 85 and older is also expected to grow rapidly, particularly between 2031 and 2050.

That's a remarkable demographic shift.

And it matters because housing needs change as we age.

The home that was perfect when you were 42 may not necessarily be the home that works best when you're 72.

That doesn't mean you need to move.

It simply means it's worth thinking about.

Most Older Canadians Own Their Homes

Statistics Canada data from the 2021 Census showed that homeownership rates remain high among older Canadians.

Approximately 75.6% of Canadians aged 65 to 69 owned their homes, as did 74.8% of those aged 70 to 74. Among Canadians aged 75 to 84, the rate was 72.5%.

That's a tremendous amount of Canadian household wealth tied up in housing.

And for many people, that's exactly where they want it.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But it does raise an interesting question:

How much of your wealth do you actually want tied up in your home?

Your Life Is Changing Too

Here's the thing we sometimes forget when we talk about real estate.

Your house may be appreciating.

But your life is changing too.

Twenty years ago, perhaps you had teenagers running through the house.

You needed four bedrooms.

You needed a big kitchen.

You needed a yard.

You needed a garage.

You needed storage for hockey equipment, bikes, camping gear, toys and approximately 47 pairs of shoes.

Now?

Maybe two people live there.

Maybe three rooms rarely get used.

Maybe the basement has become a very expensive storage locker.

Maybe the yard you once loved has become a job.

Maybe the stairs aren't your favourite thing anymore.

None of this means there's anything wrong with your house.

It simply means your needs may have changed.

Your Next Chapter May Look Different

This is one of the reasons I love the idea of a Next Chapter.

It doesn't have to mean selling your house.

It doesn't have to mean moving into a condo.

And it certainly doesn't mean giving away everything you've accumulated over a lifetime.

It simply means taking a moment to think about what you want the next stage of your life to look like.

Maybe you want more travel and less maintenance.

Maybe you want to be closer to your children.

Maybe you want to spend your money differently.

Maybe you want a garden, a workshop, a condo with a view, or simply a home where everything you need is on one floor.

Or maybe you love your home exactly as it is and can't imagine living anywhere else.

That's okay too.

The point is that you get to design your next chapter.

And sometimes, taking a fresh look at your home, your equity and the cost of maintaining it is simply part of figuring out what that chapter could look like.

The Questions I'm Asking Myself

And here's where this becomes personal for me.

I'm not just writing this as a downsizing specialist.

I'm an empty nester in the making.

In four years, my son will likely be heading off to whatever comes next for him, and I find myself already thinking about what our home, our finances and our lifestyle might look like at that point.

And honestly?

I don't have the answers.

I love my home.

I love where we live.

I love having space to host our family and friends.

There are plenty of reasons I could see myself staying exactly where I am.

But I'm also asking myself some questions.

Do I really want to maintain this much house when it's just the two of us?

How much of our home will we actually use?

Would I rather spend some of that equity on experiences, travel, family and the things we enjoy while we're healthy and active enough to do them?

What will I want my life to look like at 55? At 65? At 75?

And perhaps the biggest question:

Am I designing my home around the life I've already lived, or the life I want to live next?

I don't know yet what the answer will be.

And I think that's okay.

I'm four years away from this particular transition, but I'm already thinking about it.

Not because I'm ready to sell my house tomorrow.

But because I'd rather have the conversation with myself before I have to make a decision.

In my years of experience helping clients downsize, I think that's one of the greatest advantages I have seen -  thinking about your next chapter early.

You get to design it.

Rather than waiting until a health issue, a major repair, a financial change or some other life event forces you to make decisions quickly, you have the luxury of asking:

What do I actually want?

The Part You Can't Put on a Spreadsheet

As interesting as the numbers are, they only tell part of the story.

You can't put a dollar value on the comfort of waking up in the home you've loved for decades.

You can't quantify family memories.

You can't calculate the feeling of belonging to a neighbourhood you've helped build a life in.

You also can't easily put a number on freedom.

The freedom to travel without worrying about the garden.

The freedom to spend a Saturday doing something other than home maintenance.

The freedom of having fewer rooms to clean.

Or the freedom of staying exactly where you are because you genuinely love it.

These things matter.

And for some people, they matter more than the financial calculations.

There Isn't a Right Answer

This is probably the most important part.

If you love your home, can comfortably afford the costs, enjoy maintaining it and want to stay there for the next 20 years...

Stay.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

On the other hand, if you find yourself spending more and more money maintaining a house you barely use...

Or you're travelling more and spending less time at home...

Or you're beginning to resent the yard...

Or you're sitting on millions of dollars of equity but don't feel particularly wealthy...

Or you're starting to think about how you'd like your life to look at 70, 75 or 80...

Maybe it's worth running the numbers.

Not because you have to move.

Just because you deserve to understand your options.

So... What Happens If You Never Downsize?

Maybe nothing.

Maybe you stay in your home for another 20 years, watch it appreciate, maintain it, enjoy it and eventually pass it on to your children.

That may be exactly what you want.

Or maybe, somewhere along the way, you realize that your home is no longer supporting the life you want to live.

And maybe you make a change.

Neither outcome is a failure.

The important thing is that the decision is intentional rather than accidental.

Because your home is not just an investment.

It's the backdrop to your life.

And as that life changes, it's worth asking whether your home is still supporting the way you want to live.

I'm asking myself those questions already.

I have four years until I'm an empty nester, and I have no idea yet what my answer will be.

But I do know this:

I want to design my next chapter around how I want to live, rather than simply continuing to live the way I always have.

Maybe that's the real conversation we're having when we talk about downsizing.

Not:

"How much house can I afford?"

Not:

"How much will my house be worth?"

But simply:

"What do I want the next chapter of my life to look like?"

And then...

Does my home help me get there?

The financial examples in this article are hypothetical illustrations only. They are not predictions, investment advice, tax advice or real estate advice. The figures do not account for selling commissions, legal fees, property transfer tax, moving costs, investment fees, taxes, inflation, strata special assessments or future changes in property taxes, insurance, utilities or strata fees. Actual costs, property appreciation and investment returns will vary considerably.

Shelley Hird
Downsizing and Senior’s Real Estate Specialist with Oakwyn Realty Ltd, North Vancouver
www.shelleyhird.com